A New biography reveals how lust made rugby star Joost Van der Westhuizen betray his pregnant wife.

“Against all my principles, I had a sexual liaison – we never had intercourse – with a woman who was not my wife. And we took drugs.”

‘Just over three years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. I did something I will probably regret the rest of my days.’

These are the words of one half of South Africa’s version of Posh and Becks – former Springbok Joost van der Westhuizen in his new book, Joost: The Man in the Mirror.

It is his first public confession that the man wearing underwear and socks in that video – a screen grab of which was run on the front page of a major newspaper in February – was indeed him.

In the book Van der Westhuizen describes how he had met a bunch of girls, one of whom was “unbelievably sexy, and keen, and available”.

And she also “keeps letting you know that she thinks you are literally God’s gift to women.

“Lastly, you have a pregnant wife and a young son at home. Let me ask you Dave – what would you have done?” Van der Westhuizen asks his biographer, David Gemmell.

At the time of the incident his wife, performer Amor Vittone, was expecting the couple’s second child, Kylie.

Although he admits the dalliance, Van der Westhuizen does not go into detail on where they met or what he and Marlize van Emmenis got up to.

He had had no idea that she had taped their liaison.

After initially denying it was him in the video, the 38-year-old eventually confessed to Vittone in July and, finally, in the book he reveals how the indiscretion almost cost him his marriage as well as his life.

About a month before confessing to his wife, Van der Westhuizen attended the second test against the British & Irish Lions. He had been feeling tired and was “grumpy and short-tempered” that night, but had had only three beers – he kept the bottle tops in his pocket – because he was expected at home for a meeting.

At the end of the meeting, he stood up to see his guests off. His next memory is of waking up in a bed “somewhere”.

It was up to Vittone to fill in the gaps for Gemmell, and she remembered her husband pulling on his left shoulder while talking to their guests.

As he stood up, he fell backwards and hit his head on the tiles. He stopped breathing, but one of the guests started performing CPR. Van der Westhuizen then started shaking “like he was having a seizure”.

“His head was jerking up and down, it was like a fit,” said Vittone.

Van der Westhuizen, who has since recovered completely, put the collapse down to stress.

His book, which has been three years in the making, captures his embarrassment over the “sex tape saga” and his fear of losing his family.

He recalls the day the sex tape story hit the headlines. “It was a horrible, horrible day. I can’t describe how awful it was. I tried to get hold of the paper’s lawyers to see if I could watch (the video), but because it was Sunday we couldn’t get anything arranged,” he said in the book.

It has been “tough” on their marriage, but he insists they will still be together this Christmas. “For two months we’ve been working on it and there’s a definite improvement. We’ve never slept in separate bedrooms … Things are tough,” he told the Sunday Times .

“Amor is scared (about the release of the book) and we don’t know what’s going to happen. This thing is going to open up again, and I’m going to put my family through it again.

“More than anything, I fear losing my family. Everything else can go, but not my family. I may still lose them; I hope and pray that I don’t and that Amor can find it in her heart to forgive me.”

He described how he met Vittone while he was on the verge of leaving his first wife, Marlene, as well as their official first date – which happened after the divorce – and its “disastrous” ending.

The two dined on oysters during a Valentine’s dinner at the Vilamoura restaurant at the Sandton Sun hotel. Afterwards, as he was driving Vittone’s BMW home, she developed stomach pains. Before he could even suggest they go to a pharmacy or doctor, she ordered him to stop.

“Joost pulled over and braked at the same time. Before he could do anything, Amor had released her seatbelt, opened the door, jumped out and, pulling down her panties, squatted next to the vehicle,” writes Gemmell.

“In that excruciatingly embarrassing moment, courtesy of a bad oyster, the universe dropped out of Amor’s bottom.”

Van der Westhuizen said this week he had asked three times for the story of the first date to be removed from the book, but decided eventually it had to go in – to show that they are “real people”.

The births of his two children, Jordan and Kylie, to whom the book is dedicated, were the proudest moments of his life.

Initially, as a first-time dad, he was mystified as to why babies “get bloody wind”, but eventually became an expert burper with his first-born by handling him like a rugby ball.

“I would hold him face down in the palm of my hand and then put my other hand on him quickly, as though I was going to pass him, and he would just suddenly burp,” he said.

Van der Westhuizen takes his role as a father seriously – and as a result ended up with a R15000 bill for damage to a boom at the gates of the exclusive Dainfern estate north of Johannesburg where the family lives.

He had been rushing to find a pair of soccer boots for Jordan, who was about to play in a game at the estate. When he arrived at the boom the guards, “notorious for their obdurateness”, refused to let him in because he had left all forms of identification in his wife’s car.

A tussle – again caught on tape – ensued, resulting in damage to the boom.

But he managed to get the boots to his son just in time. “He was so happy. That little face – I will never forget his smile for the rest of my life,” he said.

Eight days later, police wanted to arrest him for trespassing and breaking the boom.

The book also includes detail about his early life, describing how the barefoot boy from a “poor area on the eastern side of Pretoria” showed rugby talent at age five.

He grew up in a “typical Afrikaner family”, and his parents, Mariana and Gustav, instilled strong Christian values in him and his brothers.

Van der Westhuizen went on to become a legendary Springbok. He still holds the record for the highest number of test tries, scoring 38 tries in 89 matches.

The former rugby star took a break from the sport in 1999 to rehabilitate an injured knee – and took on a new challenge: flying.

One morning his instructor, Basie van der Bardt, got out of the Cessna aircraft while they were taxiing – leaving Van der Westhuizen, a diligent pupil, to go solo.

“I nearly shat myself. At that point I only had about 15 hours’ flying time,” said Van der Westhuizen.

The instructor died in a crash just two weeks later, and Van der Westhuizen carried on with a new instructor. As part of his final navigational exam, he had to do a cross-country exercise – which nearly killed him.

Stuck in the plane with no communications – he had no cellphone reception either – he realised the fuel gauge indicated empty.

He eventually managed to land at the Pilanesberg International Airport, and it was later discovered that an alternator cable had come loose during an earlier landing, causing the aircraft’s electrics to fail…

To read the full story, order this book today from Red Pepper Books by clicking on this link. This book is also available in Afrikaans – Joost: Spieëlbeeld – click on this link to order now.

Content courtesy of The Sunday Times Online.

An update, courtesy of Book.SA on 04 November 2009…

As reported yesterday, Joost van der Westhuizen’s biography, The Man in the Mirror / Spieëlbeeld, sold out the day it was released. Here’s a summary of the links that drove the controversial book to its number one position – plus reports of fresh revelations from this morning – starting with the Sunday Times book excerpt that triggered the media frenzy:

The Springbok Rugby Legends organisation appointed Joost to be a celebrity host in the Virgin Atlantic box at Loftus Versfeld for the second test against the British & Irish Lions on June 27 2009.

Joost mentions that he had noticed from the Wednesday prior to the Test how he had continually felt tired and was very short-tempered with everyone, including, most unusually, his children.

He also claims not to have been sleeping properly the previous couple of months.

Being grumpy and short-tempered, he wasn’t really looking forward to hosting a bunch of Englishmen.

But, as it turned out, he found the Poms surprisingly good company.

Because he was on duty, he practised his old habit of opening his own beers and keeping the tops in his pocket so that he could tell how many he had drunk at a moment’s notice.

“Despite being in the suite virtually the whole day,” he says, “When I left Loftus I had three bottle tops in my pocket. I knew I had a meeting at home, and because I was actually working – and I suppose because I wasn’t feeling particularly great – I had carefully paced myself.”

• Read the complete excerpt in the Sunday Times

The newspaper has since run several further stories on the Joost saga:

Former athlete admits to affair with Joost Former South African athlete Charmaine Weavers (Gale) has admitted to having an affair with former Springbok star Joost Van der Westhuizen, according to the Beeld newspaper. Keep reading.

Joost: I could lose Amor Disgraced former Springbok star Joost van der Westhuizen says he could still lose his wife Amor and his family in the wake of the infamous sex tape scandal. Keep reading.

Amor weeps on air over Joost revelations Amor Vittone wept on radio this morning as she spoke about her husband former Springbok captain Joost van der Westhuizen’s infidelity for the first time. Keep reading.

The Mail & Guardian’s Chris Roper weighed in with two satirical columns:

Joost is Hansie-lite Yawn. I didn’t see this one coming. Ex-Bok scrumhalf and renowned Cat-lover Joost van der Westhuizen has written a book called Spieelbeeld (in English, Mirrorballs), and suddenly he’s moved to confess that it was in fact him in that video that everyone’s forgotten about by now. Keep reading.

Jackie Selebi and Joost: The untold story It can’t be too long until Jackie Selebi and Glenn Agliotti are referred to as the Joost and Amor of the criminal world, in the same way that the latter couple are yearningly known as the Becks and Posh of South Africa by the poor unfortunate mutts condemned to write about SA celebs. Keep reading.

The Independent Group covered the story extensively, with videos:

Joost’s stripper was not the first – report Beeld has reported that former Springbok captain Joost van der Westhuizen cheated on his wife, Amor Vittone, with former Springbok athlete Charmaine Weavers, formerly Gale. Keep reading.

Joost: Why I lied Former Bok says he was confused Embattled former Springbok scrumhalf Joost van der Westhuizen says he lied about appearing in a sex tape and taking drugs because he was scared and confused. Keep reading.

I could lose my family, says Joost Not only has he admitted it, but he has also written about it in his tell-all book Man In The Mirror, which hit bookstores on Monday. Van der Westhuizen’s shock revelation to the biographer, David Gemmell, came out of the blue. It was not until the final chapter that the truth, that he was the man in the video, was revealed. Keep reading.

Here are further links from around the Afrikaans media world:

‘Hy moes dadelik net alles erken het’ Die sangeres Amor Vittone sê haar hart is “uitgeruk” en dit voel of haar “laaste bietjie energie” weg is. Lees verder in Beeld.

Joost: Dit was ’n web van leuens Omtrent alles wat van sy kant oor die omstrede Joost-seksvideo aan die publiek en die media opgedis is, was “ ’n konkoksie van leuens”, het die oudrugbyspeler Joost van der Westhuizen gister gesê. Lees verder in Die Burger.

Atleet bieg oor Joost Joost van der Westhuizen het sy vrou, Amor Vittone, ook met die oud-Bok-atleet Charmaine Weavers (Gale) verkul. Lees verder in Beeld.

Joost bieg oor seksvideo “Dis ek in die seks-video. En ek is bitter, bitter jammer dat ek gelieg het. Asseblief, vergewe my.” Lees verder in Rapport.